Holding Back The Furies

Welcome to my blog.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I haven't been around much lately. I'm sorry. I will give you a proper post soon. I promise! I have not forgotten about you.

Your Writer,
Rebekah Scott

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Is it worth it?

A couple people have asked me "is Weight Watchers really worth the $40 a month?" I can tell them how I've lost 20 pounds since joining. I can tell them how I'm finally a smaller pant size. I can even tell them how little joint pain I have now. Instead I look down at my spiral diamond cut wedding band. I see it on my finger and think about the last time it was there was before my oldest daughter was born and I say, "Oh yeah! It's worth it!"

Thursday, January 12, 2012



1 16oz can of chickpeas (Garbanzo Beans) Save the liquid!
Juice from a fresh squeezed lemon (about 3-4 tablespoons)
1 1/2 tablespoons Tahini
3 Cloves Garlic (I use 2 large cloves and 1smaller clove)
1/2 teaspoon salt (I use kosher salt)
2 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Drain the chickpeas. Set the liquid aside
Combine Lemon Juice, Tahini, Garlic, salt, and olive oil in a food processor.
Blend until it looks like a paste.
Add in 1/4 cup of the chickpea liquid.
Blend for about 2-3 minutes or until completely smooth

You can add in a red chili to spice it up. I haven't yet but I do plan to. 
When I do, I'll make sure to let you know how it is.

Keep in the refrigerator for 3 days or in the freezer for a month.

If you decide to make this please tell me how you like it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Since about the time Izzy was born I have been battling depression. Finally after moving to East Texas I gathered the courage to talk to a doctor about it. Obviously, she put me on medication for it. I was prescribed 20mg of Celexa everyday and it seemed to work for a while. After a year I noticed I felt emotionally numb. I was living in a gray realm and this bothered me. A few months after giving birth to our second daughter I decided it was time to get off this medication. This emotional numbness was preventing me from bonding and even falling in love with my new daughter. I can't describe how horrible it feels to look at your new little baby and not feel that overwhelming surge of unconditional love. This medication had to go! So after talking to my new doctor in Dallas I was told to cut my dose in half in keep decreasing it over time. Over many months of cutting the dose lower and lower I was finally able to stop taking it all together at the end of December. FINALLY! I felt free. The withdrawal symptoms were so terrible. I experienced the "Brain Zaps." For those who don't know what that is, imagine an electric pulse that starts in your brain and surges through your entire body down to your toes. They start off mild and sporadically. Their intensity increases as does their frequency. I was having up to 30 per minute. I could not function! The only way to get them to stop was to increase my dose. So if I was at 10mg a day I would have to go back up to 15mg a day and stay there for a few more weeks before stepping back down to 10mg. I would never wish the "Brain Zaps" on my worst enemy. No one deserves that kind of torture!

Zoe was 8 months old when I finally got off the Celexa. It wasn't until she was 5 months old and I was weening myself off the medication that I finally fell in love with her. I picked her up one day when she was crying and I had this waterfall of love come over me. I cried when it hit me and all I could think was "Thank God! Finally! There it is!"

Now, as for me being off the Celexa, lately I've been wondering if I really do need to be on something to help me with my depression. I will NEVER go back on medication. These past few days have been very difficult for me and it really got me thinking about my depression. Will I ever be over it completely? I hope so! Last night I took St. John's Wort and I woke up in a great mood. So my decision is to combat my depression with vitamin alternatives to medication as well as a healthy diet and regular exercise. I always feel so much better when I eat well and exercise. I really feel like it's the best way to fight this and come out the winner.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Chocolate & Peanut Butter Graham Crackers

This is a very easy food to make and perfect for you just NEED some chocolate.

1 sleeve (10 crackers) Honey Graham Crackers
About 1/8 - 1/4 Cup Creamy Peanut Butter
1 Package Baker's Chocolate. (Whichever flavor you prefer. I used semi-sweet)


Melt chocolate in double boiler. If you don't own one, a glass bowl set on top of a sauce pan filled half way with water is the exact same thing.
Break graham crackers in fourths.
Spread a small amount of peanut butter on each quarter
Dip into chocolate and coat evenly.
Remove from chocolate with a fork and tap off excess chocolate before placing on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.
Once finished, place in refrigerator for 10-20 minutes until set.

1 Points Plus each but be careful! It is VERY easy to eat 20 points worth!

See? Wasn't that super easy?
Now go see what else tastes awesome dipped in chocolate!

I'm pretty tired as I type this so if you have any questions just ask.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


While at the gym tonight with my friend, I had this sudden realization. It hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere! I am 28 years old and I have a lot of stories to tell! But how many of these stories will I want to tell my daughters as they grow up?
I remember one of my friends telling me how she did some "wild things" when she was younger. I think it involved donning a bikini and running around outside. I thought this was so beautiful! This "wild child" story of her youth was so innocent in my eyes. I couldn't bare to reply with the tale of when some friends and I striped naked and danced in a graveyard. A tale of running outside in a bikini, that is a story I could tell my daughters without feeling awkward. But to tell of times when nudity was no issue to me? No.
I look back now on so many things I have done before and while I chuckle on the inside, I would never want my daughters to repeat half of them.
I don't ever want to lie to my daughters about the things I have done or the person I once was but I don't know if I ever will feel comfortable being 100% honest with them about it all either. I fear the days when they come asking about my youth and finding the balance of being honest with them yet not divulging more then they NEED to know.

Trouble Maker

I'm pretty sure she's going to be my little trouble maker.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Working It!

Tonight will be my third day in a row getting some nice exercise. Monday saw me in the gym with my awesome workout buddy, Emily. We average an hour and a half to two hours each time we go. It really flies by so quickly. Then yesterday the girls and I went for a walk with some friends. I was able to rack up about 5 points on that one. That made me happy. Tonight I'll be back in the gym again with Emily. My goal is to do more cardio tonight and less weight lifting. I'd really like to be back down that pound I gained by Saturday. I'm kind of curious how this will work out. I'm taking some steroid medication to get the inflammation calmed down that was caused my a nasty migraine. Since I read these steroids can actually make you retain or even gain weight, it will be interesting to see how Saturday's weigh in goes. Wish me luck! Both for tonight as well as Saturday.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

We've Kicked Her Out!

A few nights ago we, by "we" I really mean "I", decided it was time to kick Zoe, out 8 month old, out of our room. Even though she still wasn't sleeping through the night I knew neither Josh nor I could continue on in a harmonious manner without proper sleep. So Josh agreed and we did it! The first two nights she slept in a pack and play in the office. It was amazing! We got to sleep! We both woke up in better moods then we had been in in months! Zoe's second night in the office was still great although she woke up once screaming. After giving her a bottle and cuddling with her for a few minutes I was able to lay her back down and the rest of the night was peaceful. Over New Years weekend we went ahead and moved her crib into Izzy's room along with her stack of drawers. All evidence of "baby" has been cleared from our room. It's finally OURS again. We are sleeping so much better now and as for Zoe's waking up between 2 and 6 times a night, she has only woken up once since the move. That was last night and it was only because her little legs were caught between the gaps of the crib. Izzy loves having her little sister in her room with her so much that we had to make sure she could see Zoe from her bed. I pray this sleeping arrangement stays this harmonious.